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!The MANual What Every Guy's Dad Should Have Taught Him

Vegas Vacation and realization

You know it seems that every time I look in the mirror this old guy keeps jumping in front of me.  I know that I am only 18 but this dude is persistent, and kinda fat!  LOL

I always try to bring some sense to my vacation and this year is no different I have learned much over the course of the last week.  Every Vegas cliche is true, actually Vegas is a cliche itself and that's what makes it wonderful.  Adults are not so different than kids and given the opportunity to let loose they act just like kids.  This can be good or bad, you be the judge on this point.  I find that I love my wife more every day and am one of the lucky guys who get to mean this when they say it.  We grow closer the longer we are together, the more we know each other, the more we care for each other.  I had the privilege of seeing a young couple just starting out on the trip and it makes me excited for them, hopeful that they will share everything as Dezie and I do,  making their relationship stronger.  Remember folks, its not only the happy times that make a marriage work, its the tragedy as well.

I learned that even though my roots are in the desert, and I love that part of the country, Florida is my home.  I looked forward to not only returning to my family but to the area as well.  I love the smell of the salt on the air, the humidity, the trees and the way "home " feels.  When I am old and crusty you will find me on the Sea Shore somewhere in a backwater bar nursing a beer, listening to Jimmy Buffett, and dispensing free advice to anyone who will listen.

Learned that you only truly know people when they are put in stressful situations.  This goes for adults and kids alike, no one can ever truly make all the right decisions every time but its how we handle the mistakes we make that define our integrity.  As a former (very relieved that I can use this label) liar, take this from my whole blog, The truth is what it is, good, bad or indifferent it changes the facts not at all.  Do not change the truth to spare someones feelings, or make yourself look better, it never works and always makes you look more stupid than you ever did before.  The further removed I am from that way of life, the more it annoys me., kind of like someone in shape who used to be fat has no tolerance for folks who do not take care of themselves.

You can judge me for this if you knew me in the past, or not, it changes nothing about who I am now or who I used to be.  I have learned that you can set ideals in your head and if you believe them long enough they come about and you can truly change who you are and your character can be redefined, but its more work than most are willing to put into it.

I learned that being a father is a million tiny decisions every day, not one big one.  I have learned that you do not get to choose who your kids become, you shape them, teach them, lead them, and love them.  It is up to them to define their life.  I love my kids, no exceptions, no qualifications, and no restrictions but I do not blame myself for their choices and do not accept responsibility for their actions should they prove to be more than learning experiences or mistakes.  I will however be here loving them once the consequences have been paid and support them as they pick up the pieces of their life.  Yes this is directed at my older kids but it proves true no matter which kiddos we are looking at.

If you made it this far then here is a treat for you.  Admire life for what it is, enjoy where you are at while moving to where you want to be, let your anger go, and spend as much time away from technology as possible.

Reality check and a free offer!

 This is the entry that I have been struggling to write. For the last few weeks I have been living with disappointment and a feeling of failure. Our goals for the foundation were so lofty and high for June and the first part of July and we missed the mark by so much. I have, over the last few days, taken into account so many things and have come up empty. Feeling sorry for myself, disappointed and horribly discouraged, it has been a challenge even to focus on what is important.

Something dawned on me last night as I was working and thinking, stacking firewood, to be exact. What we are doing here is working! Sure we missed the goal by 99%, yup we raised a whopping $325.00 for foster kids to go to camp. With the match that’s $650.00. Looks like a dismal failure right? Well lets review exactly what this means. (BTW I am rounding that match up to make it an even $1000.00 with our own donations!).

From a cold start with no experience whatsoever we now are able to send two kids to summer camp next year. I am willing to bet you they won't feel like we failed one little bit. Through the massive efforts of all the folks involved, Virtualcampers.com is now a reality and stands to generate even more money over its lifetime, not to mention all the fun and friendships that will be fostered. We have several events in the planning stages to create a good time, and money for the foundation. I have learned so much over the last few weeks, not the least of which is you cannot ever guess who is going to actually put their money or their efforts where there mouth is. I want to give a huge thank you to all of you who are and have been helping with this project and assure you your efforts are not in vain.

And the 1% thing, well that’s discouraging to say the least but I now know how to raise the money, I just need to do 100x the work and we will be at our goal. One day in the near future we will raise the initial goal amount in one day! And that my friends is the power of an organization rather than an individual. I have seen it happen in business and know for a fact that it can be done. Belief is a beautiful thing and has nothing to do with the facts at hand.

For now, remember never to give up, don’t feel sorry for yourself, and keep on going no matter what is put in your way. Only through this can we truly make a difference. (I think this is for me more than anyone else.)

Now for the fun stuff: If you haven't already, go sign up for an account at Virtualcampers.com, we need beta testers for the site. Anyone who signs up, provides feedback, and actually helps on the site will have the first year of their membership for free!

See you in the woods,

Flint

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First ever marketing video!

"We've done the impossible and that makes us mighty!!" Mal Reynolds

I think I am crazy.  Not really but I do feel that way sometimes.  I have heard that more than once in the last few days to say the least.  We are working on a project that the goal seems impossible to most people but it is such a near and dear thing to my heart that I cannot stop.  I think about it every hour of every day.  I do not know how many of you will be reading this but please at least do not stop until you have finished this first paragraph.  We are raising money to send foster kids to summer camp.  Almost everyone of us has memories of camping as a kid, either summer camp or family camping trips or any combination in between.  Foster kids have not got this opportunity and often do not even live together as a family.  Please take a moment to visit the above link and give what you can to make a difference.  WHEN we reach our goal of $25K this month it will be matched dollar for dollar and presented to a camp to help create these memories for a lifetime.  Below is an excerpt of the first blog written for the new website.  I hope you enjoy and if we have amused you even a little please go and give some money to help this worthy cause.  A thousand people donating $25 dollar makes $50K in donation for this month with the matching!   Every dollar makes a difference!

http://www.gofundme.com/virtual-camper

Taken from the intro to VirtualCamper.info:

Camping is a passion, its an obsession, its crazy, and it is many different things to many different people. You never know what someones definition of camping is; some of us grab a trailer full of enough stuff to furnish and army and some have just what they can carry on their backs. Some folks have RVs or buses or any thing in between that constitutes a camper. However one thing bonds all of us together and that is the insane urge to leave our mechanized, homogenized, automated, processed, connected life, pack up head out into the woods and eat some food with a little dirt in it!

No matter what your choice for camping is it seems that magic happens when we get out into the woods and start “camping.” All of a sudden it is OK to ask your neighbor if they have some salt, or a lighter since you forgot yours. If someone walks into your campsite and its dinner time you try to feed them. You don’t freak out if the kids go to play with the dogs on the walk around the loop and don’t worry as long as you hear your kids screaming but cant see them. Its OK to eat pop tarts and spam and for once the calories or cholesterol levels just don't matter. No one thinks you are weird for drinking a beer with breakfast (my choice is hard cider but you know.) You find yourself staying up until 4 in the morning talking with a group of people that you didn't know at 4 that previous afternoon and may never get to speak to again.

You find that your memories are solidified, not by how well things went but the 'tragedy' associated with the trip. BTW: Difference between tragedy and humor is just time. No good camping story ever started out with: “Everything went perfectly, weather was perfect.....blah blah blah boring boring boring.” The really good ones all start with: “Oh yeah? Well let me tell you what happened when it rained for 8 inches in four hours and got dark at 3 in the afternoon......” (A real story by the way!).

Most folks initial camping experience was less than stellar and often down right traumatic, but we were all crazy enough to try it again. Note: Anything worth doing is worth doing badly until you figure out how to do it well. How is it that in our “real life” we would be offended and possibly murderous to find someone in our kitchen cooking our food on our stove with our stuff (sounds like some twisted version of Goldilocks) but in the woods you are grateful that the coffee is ready and just introduce yourself to the person, not to mention that they didn't run at the first sight of you. (another real story)

We are all here together to capture that feeling of camaraderie and have a place where we can all come and keep up with each other, meet new folks of a like mind and form some of those friendships made over a campfire into something more than just a brief flicker in our lives. Here is a safe place where we can share stories, photos, videos and even our reviews of the sites with folks we can trust not to judge us to harshly. (Yes there will be an adult section with a password so we can share those stories too). In the spirit of a true camper our site will host annual events around the country to raise money for our sister foundation that sends foster kids to summer camp so they can start forming those memories and have a chance to just be kids. If you haven't already check out what they are doing over there to help. (insert URL here). By the way 80% of the money you pay to be a member of this site goes directly to support that site as well.

Now if you are wondering if all this is worth it and what the heck I am talking about anyway. Browse some of our free forums, and sign up for a trial membership and have a look around. See what all this hype is about, stay a while and who knows you just might turn into a virtual camper too!

See ya in the woods.

Flint

Suicide in the Library (not what you think)

Why must people persist in destroying creativity especially when they encourage it? Case in point; I have an eight year old son, he has many flaws and many very unique characteristics. One of his strongest is creativity; some see this as a flaw, others as strength. The other being that he is a rebel at heart, to me this is his best characteristic to most it’s just horrible. “OMG! He thinks for himself” anyway I diverge, back to my point.
Check back to roll call in the library (that “r” in the middle of that word is supposed to be pronounced folks its not the lie-berry) today. Instructor lets the children respond with any word they want as long as they are not a “bad” word (definition of a bad word in this case is a cuss word… {Let’s not get started on that rant.})
Come down the roll call and I am assuming that they are hearing things like tree, flower, bird, and such other mindless pap that our young skulls full of mush regurgitating machines are thinking of to say so they don’t get in trouble, boy would Freud have a field day with this exercise. (Google it I am not going to explain that reference here. Keywords: Freud word association.) Cut to my young skull musher with a slight amount of organization and independent thinking, his cogs are moving and he is trying to come up with the best word possible. Not being limited by the bounds of Political Correctness (I mean really come on he is my kid), also being somewhat of a smartass (crap that must be one of them there “bad” words), he comes up with a word that is not technically a “bad” word, but one that is lets say questionable.

Teacher, “Gary Anderson”
Gary, “Suicide!” He states calmly awaiting the praise he deserves, extremely pleased with his excellent command of the English language.

Result:

Referral to the office, no recess with forced exercise concentration camp style (yah they were interred for the way they thought too, yes beliefs are thoughts.)

Gary comes home and relates the story to Dad, accepting his punishment, as he decided before he said it that if the punishment were to come it would still be worth the joy of expression. (This would be cause and effect, decision making, and consequence acceptance. Something you have to be ready for when you are a bit of a Rebel.)

So just to sum up, the exercise was to be creative, he was. It was to encourage thought, he did. There were boundaries, he did not break them. He was punished for breaking the rules. Gary is ok and has decided that he will accept his punishment and try to be more like the other kids. Dad is pissed (“bad”), Mom is too (not “bad”), and fly off the handle. The day we punish creativity we truly do lose something. Now maybe it was not the proper time or place for this type of expression, but you cant punish a kid for following the rules when he didn’t do anything wrong.

Ask him the definition of suicide and he will tell you not to kill yourself as most kids would but his definition is “to kill yourself on purpose.” We are dealing with a massively intelligent child here who is far from a moron. He knew the word was not being defined, knew the definition and used it anyway to see what would happen.

We start to treat our children as morons; they will become what we expect. We treat them as mindless automatons (not “bad”) they will become that (I’ll wait while you get the dictionary to look up that big word.) Its because of closed minded retardation (not “bad”) like this that our country is committing intellectual suicide one child at a time.

I just have one more thing to say before I get back to browsing the “Suicide girls” on my computer, while listening to “Suicide Solution” by Ozzy, while I am waiting on my bootleg copy of “Suicidal tendencies” to download and then I am going to go watch M.A.S.H because I so love that song that it starts out with ummmm what’s that? “Suicide is Painless” that’s right. And then off to listen to the wonderful ballad “Suicide Blonde” by INXS to go to sleep on. Wait didn’t the lead singer of that group kill himself on purpose? Too bad there is not a word for that.

Gary, you deserve a reward, lets go get you a soda, how bout a Suicide (If you don’t know what that is then you are retarded {not “bad”!}) and I need a drink I think I will have a shot hmmm maybe a “Suicide!”

I am sure this article has led some to think I have just committed Career Suicide, guess what my boss could care less what I say as long as I produce. He’s an ass (“bad”) like that.